Fun things to do in a final that does not matter
(i.e. you are going to fail the class completely no
matter what you get on the final exam):
pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last
15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get
cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a
few minutes early.
-Get a copy of
the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got
the secret documents!!"
-If it is a
math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is
long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and
symbols. Be creative. Use the integral
airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the
instructor's left nostril.
-Talk the entire
way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate
your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to
stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me
thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the
-Walk in, get the
exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly
say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of
this. I've been to every lecture all semester long!
What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's
the regular guy?"
-Bring a Game Boy
(or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max
-On the answer
sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way
to refuse to answer every question. For example: I
refuse to answer this question on the grounds that
it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
-Run into the
exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh
of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found
me, I have to leave the country" and run
into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into
very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell
out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask
for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the
first one. Repeat this process every fifteen
-Do the exam with
crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
-Come into the
exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your
head, and nothing else.
-Come down with a
BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as
vulgar as possible.
-Do the entire
exam in another language. If you don't know one,
make one up! For math/science exams, try using
-Bring things to
throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking.
Blame it on the person nearest to you.
-As soon as the
instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
-Walk into the
exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be
taping your next video during the exam. Try to get
the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive.
Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the
profits if they are allowed to stay.
minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to
another seat, continue with the exam.
-Turn in the exam
approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,
start commenting on how easy it was.
-Do the entire
exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false.
If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out
interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
-Bring a black
marker. Return the exam with all questions and
answers completely blacked out.
-Get the exam.
Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down
violently, scream out "Fu** this!" and walk out