protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the
instructor that whether or not everyone's done,
they are all leaving after one hour to go
completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some
point during the exam, you should start crying for
-Every now and
then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks
why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the
light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an
idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
-Comment on how
cute the instructor is looking that day.
-Come to the exam
wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put
on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the
phantom of the opera" until they drag you
-Go to an exam
for a class you have no clue about, where you know
the class is very small, and the instructor would
recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have
been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take
the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say
"you don't really expect me to waste my time on
this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
-Bring a water
pistol with you. Nuff said.
-From the moment
the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore
the instructor's requests for you to stop. When
they finally get you to leave one way or another,
begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the
-Start a brawl in
the middle of the exam.
-If the exam is
math/science related, make up the longest proofs
you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary
numbers into most equations. If it is a written
exam, relate everything to your own life
-Come in wearing
a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and
-Bring a friend
to give you a back massage the entire way through
the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you
have bad circulation.
sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is
obvious... like history notes for a calculus
exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're
getting kicked out too) and staple them to the
exam, with the comment "Please use the attached
notes for references as you see fit."
-When you walk
in, complain about the heat. Strip.
-After you get
the exam, call the instructor over, point to any
quesstion, ask for the answer. Try to work it out
blow them up, start throwing them around like they
do before concerts start.
-Try to get
people in the room to do the wave.
with a friend at the other side of the
large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to
you. Pray to it often. Consider a small
of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent
to you every few minutes throughout the
-During the exam,
take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,
Anything you can reach.
exam with everything you write being backwards at a
90 degrsee angle.
-Bring a musical
instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are
asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a
copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging
the instructor to find the section on musical
instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the
phrase "Told you so".
-Answer the exam
with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"