A woman went to
her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor
had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for
her. She was a little worried about some of the
side effects she was experiencing.
"Doctor, the hormones you`ve been giving me have
really helped, but I`m afraid that you`re giving me
too much. I`ve started growing hair in places that
I`ve never grown hair before."
The doctor reassured her. "A little hair growth is
a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone.
Just where has this hair appeared?"
"On my balls."
surgeons were taking a coffee break and were
discussing their work. The first said, "I think
accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open
them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the
easiest to operate on. You open them up and
everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians.
You open them up and everything inside is
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers.
They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their
heads and their ass are
The tired doctor
was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the
"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the
distraught young mother. "My child has swallowed a
The physician dressed quickly, but before he could
get out the door, the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman
said with a sigh of relief. "My husband just found
old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to
deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no
electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was
home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern
high so he could see while he helped the woman
deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother
pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted
the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on
the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have
crawled up there in the first place!!"
A man's wife had
been in a coma for several days following a
particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one
of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash
in bed. As she washed down the woman's body, she
sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her
eye she thought she had seen the woman's eyebrows
shudder. Not quite sure, she tried again. This
time, she actually did see some movement.
"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some
The Doctor came in to the room and tried as well.
Once more, they both saw movement around the
"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think
we should call her husband and let him know."
Anyway, they called her husband and told him that
they had seen some movement. When he arrived, they
explained that by touching her pubic hair, they
were seeing some sort of reaction in her facial
muscles. The Doctor suggested that the husband may
like to try something a little more adventurous in
order to provoke a stronger reaction. "I suggest
that we leave the room and that you try a little
oral sex," he said.
The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in
the room. Several moments later, all the emergency
alarms and buzzers were activated. The Doctor and a
host of nurses ran in to the wife's room where they
saw the husband zipping up his jeans.
"Oops," he said, "I think I choked her."
upon a time, a woman complained to her doctor that
she and her husband never had sex anymore. So the
doctor gave her a bottle of pills and told her to
put them in his drink and she would be
The woman, somewhat disbelievingly, put one pill in
his coffee that evening. That night they made
The next morning, she put two in his coffee, and
that night they really got it on.
The next day, she said, "What the hell," and put
the entire bottle in.
A few days later, the doctor called to check on her
progress. The woman's son answered the phone. When
the doctor asked how she was doing, the son
replied, "Mom's dead; Sis is pregnant; my asshole
hurts, and Dad is out naked on the front lawn
yelling 'Here kitty, kitty.'"
A man walks into
a pharmacy and asks the woman behind the counter,
"Is there a male pharmacist available?"
"No" she says, "My sister and I own this place and
we are both pharmacists. How can we help you?"
The man steps back, opens his coat revealing this
rather large bulge in the front of his pants and
says, "Its been like this for 7 days now, can you
give me anything for it?"
"Hmmm", says the woman, "Let me go consult my
Moments later she returns and says, "OK, we'll give
you $400 cash and a half interest in the
woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the
physician that her husband had developed a penchant
for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said no.
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no
reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if
that's what you like, so long as you take care not
to get pregnant."
The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get
pregnant from anal sex?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think
lawyers come from?"